Cynthia Roberts, Romance Author
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You Lost Him at Hello

What do you think shuts a man down emotionally? Do you mull over whether it was something you said or did? Do you feel rejected, not appreciated, and misunderstood?

We already know that men and women are wired differently. The struggle clearly lies in not knowing how to delicately relay the feelings you are having without setting off alarms that makes him bolt like a rooster in a small confining pen.

Does the cosmos hold a secret as to what makes a man want to listen, open up about his feelings and truly understand a woman? NOPE. Men are not like windows and, eight times out of ten, will not communicate the way you would like and need them to. And because of this, we talk even more, over-compensate, nurture and love him beyond... beyond and, he just keeps that dang window closed.

What is the answer?

We freak out because men do not understand us. But, it could be we just don't get them. Trying to get a man to know/show how he feels and what he wants in a relationship before he even had a chance to enjoy the great connection you just discovered together, is like putting a nail in a coffin. We all do it unconsciously because it's what girls do. How you share what you feel and think about him while you are together will make a big difference.

What it all boils down to is, you do something to kill that intense attraction that drew him to you in the first place. This leads him to shut down and begin to question whether you are the right woman he wants to be with.

I know... right now you are probably saying, "No I don't!" Answer this question honestly though.

Do you talk, feel, and act with a man you think "is the one" like you are already in a committed relationship with him - before he has even developed those feelings himself?

When your expectations are the kind a woman who is in an actual long-term committed relationship IS having, and he is not there yet - it is a deal killer for any man. Women go into autopilot and fantasize straight out of the gate when the right man comes along, especially when the connection is great, the chemistry is sizzling, and as time goes by you fall into a nice groove of spending time together. Women rationalize they are already a couple. They want to play house right away and envision a Cinderella wedding when commitment to the man in their life is just a word found in Webster's.

Having him do the pursuing and asking for a more serious relationship will happen when you project yourself as a woman who is independent, full of life, not expecting commitment and not acting like the needy, clingy type, already setting up home like a married couple and making plans way too far into the future.

SO, the key is, don't give away the shop and create a 'home-like' environment emotionally and physically until HE asks, is ready to commit, and shares that he's ready.

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