Cynthia Roberts, Romance Author

Embracing Sex Over 60

I’ve been debating on whether or not to let my hair go naturally grey and started to check out images of youthful looking women, who have done just that.  Hmmm.  If, they can pull it off, then why can’t I?  Right?

I think my hesitation has a lot to do with my own sexuality.  Turning 65 this year, has really made me sit back and take notice of my life, who I am, what I have yet to accomplish, and yes, questioning my own sexuality.  It has also made me wonder, what other women my age might be thinking.

Is there sex beyond our fifties and sixties? You bet there is!  Sexuality for baby boomers is full of surprises! We came from the crazy era, of free sex, no bras, drugs, rock and roll, and are now finding ourselves embracing a future, with a whole new set of rules.   First, let me say though, not all of us were experimenting back then.  I was married at twenty-one and raising a family a few years later, while holding down a full-time job.   I have to chuckle.  For many of us mature ladies, the music has changed and the only drugs we’re reaching for are to lower our blood pressure and relieve our joint pain. 

But sex and relationships are AMEN still running full steam ahead!

Are you a Baby Boomer, entering into a new relationship, or doubting your own sexuality?  Do you have concerns about taking the next step?  Heck, you’re probably wondering what the next step is?  Quite simply, it’s at this stage of your life, just enjoy!  Experimenting with your sexuality.  Try something you never dared doing in your younger years.  Take the reins and be the aggressor.  It’s okay to be naughty and wanton.  It’s perfectly natural to want to explore.  Your partner will come to life … I promise you.  Just remember though, if you’re venturing into a new relationship after a long dry spell of no activity, protect yourself.  STD’s are higher than ever amongst seniors so, make sure your partner has been tested before intimacy comes into play.

Sex is also way more different than it was in our twenties and thirties.  Our maturity has made us less uptight, restrictive, and I think way more relaxed about unleashing our inhibitions.  We’ve learned far to often, that life is too short and supposed to be lived to the fullest.  I still think I’m sexy, despite my wrinkles, not so firm skin, and the age spots beginning to pop up.  When I think of what I’ve been through in life, every damn wrinkle is a sign of my survival and strength.  Now is not the time to worry about getting old.  Now is the time to think about grasping hold of each new day we are blessed with and kicking life in the ass!

Sexuality is a thought process.  If you think it, you are.  Relationships, love, and sex, don’t die as we age.  They will, only if you allow them to. There is nothing wrong with still having that desire to be touched, to be close, and to be intimate.  And yes, we can still enjoy great sex, despite how unappealing the idea might be to our children and grandchildren!

The fact is, we ain’t DEAD! We are very much alive, bursting with all the needs, desires, and passions of years ago.  

10 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life


Do you feel like the passion has dimmed in your relationship?  Here are some steps on how to spice up your sex life fast and furiously.

Remember when “date night” was just dinner?  Maybe there was candlelight, flowers and restaurant reservations too.  But if you have little ones tugging at you all the time, pets, a home to maintain and a full-time job that sucks the energy from you, you may need a little direction.  The good news is finding time for a little romance into your daily routine (and remember, the small stuff adds up) is possible.  The key is to be creative and pay attention to the details.

1. Sexting.   It’s the age of change, and yes, men love it when you talk naughty.  Don’t go all X-Rated on your phone, but remind him about a memorable time you had sex – ‘I can’t stop thinking about that time on the beach* in Mexico*’ ought to do the trick. Or, “I love how you …”  “I love how we …”  “Know what I’m craving right now … YOU!”

2. Inviting Bed. For clean /soft sheets use baby powder between the sheets, fluff the pillow, and slightly fold down the covers.

3. Memorable Photos. Have a grouping of some great pictures of you both are awesome visuals to spark memories and want to reenact.  Make sure there ones showing you hugging, kissing, and having a wonderful time together.

4. Candlelight. Soft, golden, flickering candlelight… Awwww Nice.

5. Soft Music. Nothing puts a person in the mood more than bedroom music.  You know what works for the two of you.  Having it playing for when he walks in the door to create the mood and set the stage is like flicking a switch and builds expectation.

6. Diversion. Nothing that can catch his eye more than you. If he’s watching t.v. and you want attention … divert his gaze … you stepping wet from the shower, you undressing, you slipping into a sexy teddy or lingerie, you slowly lathering moisturizer over your skin, you dancing sexy to a song on the radio.

7. Leave Him A Reminder. If your sex life is becoming predictable, try spritzing his pillow with the scent of you he loves most.  Smell is proven to be the biggest evocation of memory of all our senses, a little reminder of what she has to look forward to will keep things fresh.

8.  Me Time.  Pick in a night in your calender and make sure you both keep it free, maybe turn it into an entire date night – book a restaurant or have a car collect you both.

9.  Create a Danger Mode.  Adrenaline is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs there is. Bungy-jumping, rock-climbing, or even just sex in a public place where you might get caught is enough to bid farewell to every couples dry spell.  If that’s a little too dangerous for you … a long, hot sexy kiss before you exit the exit the car or elevator will leave him wanting more just as much.

10.  Quickies Matter.  Don’t underestimate the impact an element of surprise plays on a man’s mind.  50 Shades of Grey was popular for a reason, because it’s an element on every woman and man’s mind.  Let’s be honest.  Grab him the moment he walks through the door after work, or better yet, when he just stepped out of the shower.  Whoo!  He’ll love you even more.

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